Middlewich, Marriage and more - FMFormation.net - Football Manager

FluentInFootball · 09-07-08, 03:22 PM

It had been a hectic start to life as a couple, by the age of twenty I was engaged and had a mortgage tied to my neck, and married before the age of twenty two.

Life had been hard for Gemma and myself, we had bought our "little patch of paradise" as a reposession, and the previous owners had trashed the place, we absolutely gutted it from top to bottom.

After the purchase we spent 9 months working hard, if elbow grease was sell-able we would've been quids in, the work was hard but we had some fun along the way, most notably the time when my dad came to fit our new gas fire, whilst on all fours he decided to "break wind" as he did a 16 square foot patch of plaster fell off the living room wall. It took time but the house began to look like a home.

Middlewich seemed to be the perfect place to settle down, as Gemma was a Macclesfield girl and I was a simple Northwich lad, and so we were between both families. However, it seemed even more perfect when a letter dropped through our door on the 26th June 2009:

**Fedorico Roma Fan** · 09-07-08, 03:28 PM

very good start mate, looking forward to seeing more, and btw good title!

FluentInFootball · 09-07-08, 03:34 PM

Mr M. Lamb

Queens Drive
Middlewich
Cheshire

Dear Mike,

We have been contacted by a mutual acquaintance with regards to your coaching ability at sunday league level whilst working with The Railway Inn (Macclesfield).

As you may, or may not know we have recently gained promotion to the Blue Square North Division, and our managed Terry Murphy has been approached by Northwich Victoria to take the reins at their establishment.

I would be greatful if you could contact myself with regards to meeting the Chairman Mr. Steve Morris, with regards to an opportunity that could be beneficial to all.

Yours Sincerely

Lisa Ducket
Head Secretary Middlewich Town FC

apthered · 09-07-08, 03:40 PM

wow great story in the making
and lol gemma

good luck, youll need it to get up to the top!

FluentInFootball · 09-07-08, 04:07 PM

The letter that dropped through our door seemed too good to be true, I thought it was a mistake, a big cock-up by a small team in a small town, or worse REVENGE.

In 2006 I'd set a mate up, I knew how desperate he was to be on Big Brother, and so I forged letters, entrant documentation, legitimate appearing disclaimers all apparently sent by Endemol, however, no such luck, this was real, a bonafide job offer just days after I had been sacked from my run of the mill finance job in Wilmslow.

I didn't consult Gemma, I, what am I saying, WE were in need of money now and this may have been the ticket. Without hesitation I contacted Ms. Ducket and arranged to meet Steve Morris, the appointment was pencilled in for the 7th of July 2009, a day that was to be made great.

On the 7th of July I woke to a dismal morning, the sky was overcast and the clouds were burdening the locality with their damp payload. I clambered over to the wardrobe and dressed in my best cheap suit (£40 suit from Matalan, £17 shirt from Next, £5 tie George at Asda, being presentable: priceless) Gemma had already left, the joys of working for the NHS, so there I am, looking like a model for "Man at C&A". I received the obligatory "Good luck" text from my mum that I have had for every job interview since the age of 15.

Downstairs I had my daily pick-me-up: 1 cup of tea, 1 Superking Black and 20 minutes of Sky Sports News, Liverpool had finally signed David Villa - Fantastic! One piece of good news, let's hope for some more.

I Left the house and head for Seddon Street, home of Middlewich Town FC...

FluentInFootball · 09-07-08, 04:31 PM

As I approached the front door to the small portakabin-esque offices, a familiar face exited - Steve Burr, Steve is something of a legend in non-league circles having managed: Nuneaton, Hucknall, Northwich Vics and most recently Stalybridge Celtic, I was well and truly up against it, however, Steve hadn't announced his intention to leave Stalybridge and I had this apparent Ace card of this mysterious "mutual acquaintance".

I approached the front desk and was greeted by Ms. Ducket and asked to take a seat, 5 or 10 minutes passed and then I was asked to enter the Chairmans office. Behind a solid oak desk sat the solid frame of Steve Morris, a stocky bloke with thinning grey hair, his looks would suggest a hard demeanour, however, as he rose from his desk to shake my hand he let out a warm smile that showed he was a gentle giant, more than capable of dwarfing even my 6'4" frame.

Just as I was invited to take a seat there was a knock on the door, whoever was outside was beckoned in by Steve's eloquent cry of "Bloody Hell, Come In". Through the door then entered this apparent "mutual acquaintance" and another severe looking man. I came to learn the first man was Andrew Cann, Director of Training and Youth Development, I had never met him in person, just passing conversation as I gave a sales pitch over the phone, we got talking and I used Middlewich as a point of rapport, how he got my address or full name I am still unsure.
The Second man was intent on my downfall before I had even secured the position, he was Chris Sheldon, Assistant Manager, I was on his territory and he didn't like it!

FluentInFootball · 09-07-08, 04:58 PM

Having spoken to Steve, Andrew and Chris I grew ever more confident that I could get this position, I was taken on a tour of the modest 2000 capacity stadium and was introduced to possibly the smallest team of backroom staff in professional or semi-professional football, Chris Sheldon (Boo Hiss Boo), Robert Stanford (Coach), Terry Huws (Club Physio) and Tim Druid (Scout). Rob, Terry and Tim seemed keen to meet me and seemed glad at the prospect of some fresh young blood entering Seddon Street. Having completed the tour we returned to the office where I was presented with this document:

JOB DESCRIPTION

Manager

Manager Profile

Committed to the development of his/her Team and that of the Club. To prepare and manage a Team of Players in accordance, with the direction of the Club. To conduct themselves within the football Code Of Conduct. To take responsibility for all tasks and targets required. The Manager has to accept the Job Description as a condition of the role. No Team will run "just to keep the side going" .

Salary
£500 per week

Responsible to

Coaching Director

Responsibilities

To prepare and manage a team of players

To conduct themselves within the Football code of practice

Squad

· To have selected the best available squad in the manager’s opinion

- To have registered all players initially selected by the required date given by the Secretary.
- All players to be issued with C.O.C. at start of season and responsibilities detailed.

Management
- To fulfil all fixtures .
- To communicate with the Secretary regularly regarding fixtures, rearrangements and any League issues.
- To be aware and understand protocol in particular when dealing with the Football League
- Ensure player wages are collected and recorded accurately and submitted to the Treasurer monthly.
- To attend Managers’ Meetings as required.
- Any problems to Coaching Director
- All kit to be logged when issued so missing kits can be identified
- It is the Manager's responsibility to return all kits, rain jackets equipment, footballs etc to the Club at the end of each Season.
- Any issues regarding replacement kit / equipment should be taken up with the Coaching Director.

Coaching
- All managers to have at least “Level 3” certificate - within a 3 month period of appointment and to ensure all managers have attended Child Protection Unit
- To appoint and register at least one assistant
- Prepare weekly coaching sessions
- Be prepared to attend club manager coaching sessions regularly as requested
- Participate in adding coaching ideas to “coaching pool”
- Attend Junior Witches as required
- Be prepared to support other coaches with training sessions
- To ensure substance to sessions e.g weekly 5 a sides are not the way forward
- To accept that the Coaching Director will attend training sessions at his / her discretion.

· Match day
· Ensure a squad of at least 11, one match ball and one reserve ball
· Ensure pitch markings are well maintained .Ensure that markings where worn are re-marked(ie if your Team is playing after another on Seddon St)
· Ensure all nets, flags etc are properly sited and all equipment returned after the last game on that day.
· Ensure changing rooms, particularly away room are clean before teams enter.
· Ensure the changing rooms are both cleaned after use.
· Check refs room, first aid room and toilet are checked and cleaned if necessary before your match officials arrive.
· All relevant paperwork completed accurately and distributed promptly to the correct person.

· Club
· Encourage player/parental support and help
· To play an active part in any club request from assistance in activities such as facility and ground maintenance, fund raising and social events

Other special requirements: N/A

8th July 2009.

I was awoken this morning by my weekly delivery of the Non-League newspaper from the paperboy:

How, what, if, but!?!?.........What the hell has happened? Shortly after I received a Voicemail from Steve Morris "Hi Mike, It's Steve, you may have seen the papers, and it's true we would like to offer you the position on the terms we discussed, sorry about the media but we heard Crewe Alex wanted you as a coach, give me a call!"

Needless to say I accepted the offer, I had to report to Seddon street at 8am on the 12th. Wow, world of football here I come.

FluentInFootball · 09-07-08, 10:23 PM

On the night of the 11th July 2009 I realised the value of Google for the first time in my life, lay there in bed on the laptop looking at coaching techniques and saving contact details for local clubs in my PDA, already composing my own phonebook bible as it were.

For 6 hours I just lay there watching Gemma sleep, wondering what the next 24 hours of my life would hold in store for me, her, the family and the town of Middlewich. The red digits on the clock shone straight in my eyes 4:18, shit I need some sleep.

Over-punctuality has always been a personal OCD for me, I had driven the 2 miles to the stadium, I felt safe in my car, a clapped out R-reg Ford Fiesta, adorned with Liverpool memoribilia, the faded digits on the clock in the dash were showing 7:13, great, 47 more minutes to contemplate the next chapter of my life. I had just wound down my window having sparked up my second Cig of the day, all of a sudden...BANG! My passenger window is rattling in it's frame having been hit by a 40-yard precision piledriver, this from the left peg of a 16 year old lad in school uniform, "Mind what you're doing" I shouted across the attempt of a car park "I'll find you" whether he heard me or not I don't know, he had such a turn of pace on him, I just hoped that the lads I would be working with would have that sort of skill.

The offices were quiet as it was a Monday, no training, so no players, something I was going to change. Speaking to Rob Stanford I discovered there was an amicable loan link between Crewe Alexandra and Middlewich, I enquired about the availability of Adam Dugdale, a young yet solid defender, perfect for the lower leagues. On that first day I also enquired with Northwich over the availability of Michael Welch, another defender who through a tedious link I know his mother and so personal terms shouldn't have been a problem, the most inspirational move of the day however was a phone call with John Owens, the assistant manager of Liverpool's reserves under Gary Ablett. We agreed a loan link in principal, pending the approval of Sheikh Mohammed and Steve Morris, and the first player that would be moved using the link would be Ryan Flynn, if he was comfortable to move to The Witches for 9 months.

All in all it was a productive first day at the office, no press involvement so I was solely focused on my job, and what I needed to do, I left my car at the "stadium" and started the trudge home, when I was stopped by the lad that nearly smashed my window this very morning. He extended his hand and introduced himself "Mr. Lamb, I'm Jack Blake, Under-18's captain at Middlewich, and I'm looking forward to working with you, sorry about the window, it was a dare." I explained to Jack that there was no damage done and if he could utilise that left peg on the pitch like he could in the car park, then MTFC would soon have a new, local, Anchorman.

**Fedorico Roma Fan** · 10-07-08, 08:50 AM

wow this is a fantastic story so far mate KUTGW!

**Hartynips** · 10-07-08, 09:47 AM

Great story so far there mate nice start!

FluentInFootball · 10-07-08, 11:06 AM

The Job description is actually the job description advertised on the Middlewich Town website lol, and most of the information is true. Truth is the basis of the best stories

**liveru** · 10-07-08, 01:08 PM

Great story so far mate.

I will be keeping an interested eye on this one.

FluentInFootball · 10-07-08, 11:40 PM

July and August were very hectic and yet enjoyable months, the official link with Liverpool was announced by the two chairmen, we were graced with the presence of Ryan Flynn (as previously agreed with John Owens) Gary Mackay-Steven and David Amoo. We also secured the permanent signing of Michael Welch from Northwich for £3k and also the loan deal of Adam Dugdale from Crewe.

With £9k of my budget left I consulted Tim Druid as to any ideas he may have over potential signings, this was when I was confonted by my second hurdle, Tim had never been out of the North West on a scouting assignment, the furthest south he had got was to see Port Vale, the furthest North...Barrow, Christ.

I pulled a few strings and got some information on players within the UK and beyond, although I wasn't able to spend the budget the information proved invaluable for the future.

Spanglish!?

The reason the iformation was useful immediately was a bosman signing in the shape of Alex Fernandez, a young spanish lad. The problem that soon came to light was the brick wall placed in front of us by nationality alone, having signed through his representatives I didn't realise the gravity of the situation, with extended hand Alex entered into conversation....I think.

"Senor Cordero, Yo no hablo inglés, me hablo sólo un idioma global......fútbol, usted ha puesto fe en mí, yo devolveré esto."

Having only enough spanish linguistics to order a pint and 200 fags I greeted Alex with my best Northwich styled eloquential "Grassy Arse", I was later informed he had said something along the lines of "Mr. Lamb, I don't speak English, but I do speak the language of football, I wish to repay the faith you have shown in me".

With the acquisition of Alex secured I laid to rest the two problems I had encountered with my brief spell at the club, I informed the players that instead of the traditional weekly training session, we would now be having tri-weekly sessions and a team de-brief the day after each match, to recap. Now for the second problem, the scouting issue, having scored on his debut Fernandez had proved we had been missing something that couldn't have been found anywhere between Powys and Lancashire, the main problem was although Steve Morris was a gentle giant, he was also a scrooge, after hours of screaming, shouting and downright stubborn-ness, Steve agreed to extend the net of which Tim was able to search.

Progress was being made, the club was coming up and into the 21st century and I was leading it.

apthered · 11-07-08, 02:44 AM

lol alex fernandez
good signing, i see promotion already

he links up really well with amoo too, and that was in league 1... so no problems here
kutgw

**liveru** · 11-07-08, 01:16 PM

Good signing in Alex Fernandez. Nine times out of ten he's a good player in the lower leagues.

Good luck and nice one on the link with Pool.

**Jonners71** · 11-07-08, 01:30 PM

David Amoo is awesome in the lower leagues - a great capture - futures looking bright!

**Hartynips** · 11-07-08, 05:31 PM

Great update again and congrats on signing AF should be an asset to the club

FluentInFootball · 12-07-08, 01:15 PM

10 games into the season, we were unbeaten, with 6 solid wins and 4 unfortunate draws I was feeling invincible, a new team in the league and we were slaughtering everyone, I was starting to feel like I was bigger than the club, I was a genius, a tactical aficionado as it were, the fans, players and board all loved me, and the headlines in the local papers just aided my ego's inflation.

"Lamb chops through opposition"
Winsford Chronicle

"New age Blitzkrieg aids Middlewich"
Northwich Guardian

"Lamb: Don't compare me to Hitler"
Middlewich Community News

We then went for our 11th game of the campaign, at the Marston Stadium, to visit Hinckley United. Unfortunately through Injuries and U21's call ups we were missing Gary Mackay-Steven, Ryan Flynn, Adam Dugdale, and most crucially Alex Fernandez, Fernandez had been somewhat of a creative force for The Witches the season laying on 4 assists and scoring 9. We arrived at the game in our clapped out Transit Mini-bus, to be honest it was no more rust orange than the blue it was originally.

Due to the lack of strength down the Left with GMS, lack of an anchorman in Flynn and lack of an out and out striker in Fernandez, I went with a 5-4-1, playing Michael Welch as a Sweeper, and David Amoo as the lone Striker. After 68 minutes we were 4-0 down I couldn't have felt any lower if my arse and knuckles scraped along the floor, Amoo scored a consolation goal in the 83rd minute, 4-1, Christ, who the hell wants invincibility if this is how it feels, we all jumped in the rust bucket to make the trip back to Middlewich heads down.

I stuffed the iconic white ear phones of my iPod into my ears, I didn't want to speak or listen to anyone and what was being said, those two hours were possibly the longest two hours of my life. As we all got off the bus, everyone's wives and girlfriends were there and Gemma was no exception, Sheldon was obviously revelling it as he snarled "well you can't win 'em all" Rob Stanford told me to ignore him, but it was easier said than done. I couldn't even speak with my own wife.

(Sorry for the delay in posting this instalment, a bit of the old Delhi belly kicked in yesterday.)