Yellow Submarines - An Englishman Abroad - Page 5 - FMFormation.net - Football Manager

**Hartynips** · 05-07-08, 09:15 PM

Love the humour in the story, parts of it made me laugh out loud! Keep Capdevilla in check too I know what he's like in my spain squad!

Nice updates there mate as usual...and er...nice car!

losblancos · 05-07-08, 09:55 PM

Going to watch too many games I see. But good only. Hopefully this slightly longish gap would have helped your players to train harder.

Capdevila as a winger is a good move.

Excellent read.

**liveru** · 05-07-08, 10:37 PM

Another great update Jonners.

I know I keep saying it but I really am enjoying reading this.

**abeatty2209** · 06-07-08, 12:26 AM

I have only really started to read this mate and it looks great!!!
KUTGW

**Jonners71** · 06-07-08, 10:03 AM

I'd overslept. There had been a power cut in the night due to the storm that was still going strong outside. The alarm clock next to me was flashing zeros at me and I was running 40 minutes late.

I threw on a t-shirt and some jogging bottoms and grabbed a suitcase, threw a few random clothes in and sprinted out the door into the rain. It was times like these that made me appreciate Lucy so much, she would have made sure I had a suitcase sorted the night before.

I got into my new car. I'd done quite well with it so far, not a scratch. Mainly due to driving it incredibly slowly just in case...I didn't want Mr Roig to see it parked up with dents all over it. To be honest I felt more comfortable in my Smart car, at least it was already ruined by me.

I had to put my foot down today though, the team bus was leaving for the airport in 20 minutes and I lived a 15 minute drive from the ground. I was making good time though despite the conditions. I started to feel pretty cool in my sexy new sports car and thought a little music might be nice. I hadn't even started to learn about all the gadgets on the dashboard yet. I came into some traffic so looked ahead, reaching wildly on the dashboard for the radio on switch.

The next thing I know everthing is getting louder and brighter. I start to panic a little before realising that the soft top roof is starting to open. The rain is already lashing into my eyes as I reach back down for the switch to start closing it again but the air conditioning comes on intstead. I look up and have to swerve out of the way of a car that I was drifting towards. The rain now is soaking me...puddles are forming in the seats next to me and I can barely see. I reach down again, this time the radio comes on playing some Spanish disco-pop....I have no option but to pull over. Cars sound thier horns as they pass, laughing at me as I sit in the lay-by, rain pouring down on me. I fish out the manual from the glove box but can't seem to find the English section. I try a few more buttons then look at the time...it's no good, I need to get moving.

I pull back into traffic and head towards the ground, putting up with every turned head in traffic.

By the time I arrive they are all on the bus waiting. A row of faces staring out the window as my open top car parks up. I stagger out, drenched and walk towards the bus. I looked pathetic.

Roig is looking out of his office window shaking his head.

One of the players ran out, took my keys and closed the roof for me. I'd left the lights on too.

I board the bus to the sound of laughter and the driver starts the engine.

losblancos · 06-07-08, 04:37 PM

I can imagine players doing this but must be really embarrassing for a manager.

**liveru** · 06-07-08, 06:42 PM

Haha, still no luck mate.

I love it!

**Jonners71** · 06-07-08, 07:11 PM

We arrived at Seville in the middle of the afternoon. The flight was delayed so many of the players were getting restless. They had sung every rain related song they could think of at me on the way over but even that was getting boring as a security alert kept us stuck at Seville airport another hour.

Reaching the ground gave way to more drama. The coach we'd hired was driven by a nutter who mangaed (possibly deliberatly as I think he was a Sevilla fan) to get us lost. Our Police escort seemed to have deserted us and we had an un-nerving 5 minutes trying to drive our way through Sevilla fans outside the ground.

Inside I chatted briefly to Manalo Jiminez the new Sevilla coach and congratulated him on winning the Super Cup. The players had been out on the pitch working the crowd into a frenzy by parading it around.

The team had thier last instructions, we were going to play a counter attacking game and close down thier forwards as much as possible.

They walked out into a howling wind and hard rain. From 3 sides of the ground there was a storm of noise for the home fans. I made my way to the bench and tried to see through the downpour. Sevilla kicked off and my stomach tightened.

Before kick off tonight Sevilla showed off thier latest piece of silverware to the fans and the evidence shown on an horrific night weather wise, was that they have it in them to win more cups sooner rather than later.

The home side looked fired up from the off. Despite injured Freddie Kanoute having to watch from the stands they looked to have plenty of fire. The surface lent itself to slick passing play and Villareal looked unable to cope with not being able to dictate the tempo. With playmaker Nihat confined to the bench Mills was showing that he was definatly the boss.

But it was his surprise inclusion of rookie left back Emiliano Insua, on loan from Liverpool that was his un-doing. Jesus Navas left him for dead down the right on 7 minutes and seemed to have forever in which to drive his cross into the 6 yard box. Fastest to it was Arouna Kone, deftly sneaking it under Lopez.

The home fans responded with a wall of noise.

Villareal responded at last on the 20 minute mark, Robert Pires drifting in from the wing to drive a shot narrowly over. After that the visitors were restricted to set pieces, Senna and Fernandez both going close.

But Sevilla always looked like they had an extra gear. The visitors got a warning shot, Luis Fabiano testing Lopez with a dipping effort on 42 minutes. 2 mintues later Kone was played through, Cygan, slipping in the conditions all the way through the half lost his balance again and Kone was away. He drew Lopez off his line before lifting the ball over him, placing it high into the net.

Freddie who? Kone doubles his tally

Sevilla wouldn't have wanted half time to come but the Yellow Submarines looked to be sinking fast.

Mills responded. Insua failed to take to the pitch in the second half, Capdevila returning back to familiar territory of left back with Cani playing down the wing. It made little difference, by now the pitch was cutting up and Villareal's attempts to play through a now defensive Sevilla were hindered. Nihat came on with a point to prove on the hour but it was the home side who almost put the game completly to bed. Dani Alves, linked to Inter and Chelsea, demontrated that he was still willing to put in 100% for the team. His tireless running was rewarded by a great chance on 75 minutes but the Brazillian rattled the post...the rebound fell to Kone who sent it into the stands.

Tomasson, a spectator for most of the game, who seemed to be crying out for a strike partner, was replaced by starlet Pjanic on 77 minutes but the game was stifled by a home side happy to hold on to thier lead.

Sevilla deserved thier first 3 points of the season, the Yellow's will be taking a long hard look at themselves on the flight back to the east coast.

The mood was not good amongst the ranks. Another flight delay, this time because of the weather and the first of the arguments had flared up. I had avoided taking all the blame when questioned afterwards, although I'm not sure if my interpretor accuratly put that across.

But I had screwed up. I should have given Tomasson some support up front after going one down, instead I tried to play it tight until half time.

In the air at last the players relaxed a little and watched TV.

"how come we don't have TVs on our bus boss?" asked Guiseppe Rossi

"good point son, I'll have a word with Mr Roig"....yeah right, like he's gonna do me any favours after this...chances are he'll take my car back.

Back at the stadium in the early hours I get in the car. Sat on the wet seats I had an uncomfortable drive home (2 near misses, 2 road rage) and pulled up outside the villa.

I took the steps up to the front door desperate for sleep when I saw that the door was already open.

"Luce? you back early?"

Wishful thinking...I flicked on the lights to see the place trashed. Anything valuable was gone.

"just great" I said as I dialled the Police.

losblancos · 06-07-08, 08:21 PM

Any connections with that night's noise that you had heard. Anyways all this makes it even better and more realistic. Its like reading an actual autobiography.

Shame about the result. Sevilla were never going to be easy, and like you mentioned, you tried to keep it tight for a bit too long maybe.

**Jonners71** · 07-07-08, 02:02 PM

By the time the police had left the villa and the security guys had made the place safe it was about 5am. I got what sleep I could then called into work in the moring and said I'd be in when I could. I had to breal this news to Lucy and more than likely spend the day trying to find somewhere else to live.

Meanwhile at the statdium the players had turned up one by one for light training. An international break was coming up and for many that meant a chance of a break. A few people from the club called me to see if they could help with anything but all i wanted to do was collect together everything left and move.

Lucy's plane from London arrived late morning. She could see I wasn't happy as I met her in the arrival lounge.

"it's ok, I heard" she said

"you did? it's ok, we'll move to somewhere safer"

"safer? what you on about? I was on about the Sevilla game...what's happened?"

I did my best to play the whole thing down but I knew she's be upset. Nothing like this had happened to us before back in England and the only good thing we could take out of it was that the stuff we valued most was all back at our home in Bournemouth.

I took the rest of the day off and we spent it with a letting agent, sorting out somewhere else to live. Lucy had loved living in the tiny villa but even she had to admit it was not in the nicest area. It would be taxis to pablo's from now on.

Ruben called in the middle of one viewing to let me know that the police were all over Almeria's old office and were chucking huge piles of documents into evidence bags. It sounds like that mess was all about to go public again. Guiseppe Rossi's transfer was the one they were all talking about on the news, they think Almeria bagged himself €500,000 out of that one.

I asked how Mr Roig was about the Sevilla result...apparently quiet. We were home to Athletico Bilbao after the internationals and although no pushovers, they were a good chance to bounce back.

By the end of the afternoon and 5 viewings later we found our new home.

5 minutes nearer the stadium and with a burglar alarm. It felt a little more permament this time. Lucy had got her fix of England for a bit and it felt like a fresh start out here. It felt like we belonged.

**liveru** · 07-07-08, 02:32 PM

Good to see you're finally getting something good in Spain mate.

**Jonners71** · 07-07-08, 07:23 PM

International breaks whilst at AFC Bournemouth never really made much difference. Here at the La Madrigal it was getting pretty quiet as training session numbers dwindled by the day.

I'd been offered a chance to watch the Spain match but decided to spend as much time as possible sorting out our new home and cracking on with my Spanish lessons. I watched some of the highlights, just hoping that none of my players got injured. Nihat had picked up a slight knock but also a goal for Turkey and Tomasson had got on the scoresheet for Denmark. I couldn't help wondering why he'd been so inneffective for us.

Almeria was still all over the news. Each new revelation worse than the last and there was no doubt that Roig was keeping his head down. Interveiws for Almeria's replacement as general manager where due next week and this time all eyes were on the appointment - they had to be squeaky clean.

More internationals over the weekend, Tomasson got a damn hattrick for Denmark this time....I just hope some of that form was still with him in a weeks time.

Lucy had managed to get a job teaching a few of the players English. I knew that this was going to help me but I couldn't help thinking some of the players wanted to learn to improve thier chances of a move to the Premiership.

It wasn't until the players began to filter back after the weekend that it became more apparent than ever there was a lack of harmony in the side. Each nationality had it's own little group who stuck together....we had a week until the next game and I'd decided to try and sort this out. Some clubs have more intensive training, others have an 'ideas sharing' meeting...I took them go-karting.

Ok, it had seemed like a good idea. I knew there were still a few scores to settle after the hotel fight but surely this would bring everyone together. It started well enough but a few laps in and the first 'accidental' collision occured. Pascal Cygan, crammed into the kart, his knees up by his chin, was heading into a corner unaware that Capdevilla and Cazorla were swerving into him from both sides....the staff marshall was waving his flag like mad but it wasn't going to stop the enevitable...Cygan bounced into the barrier and spun twice, black smoke coming out from the go-kart.

Both of the Spaniards took thier 'telling off' with shrugged shoulders. I wasn't the last incident, all over the circuit little battles were taking place, bangs could be heard at regular intervals and the staff were getting angry.

We were eventually thrown off after 42 laps. Emiliano Insua pushed the staff over the edge with a sickening piece of driving, Robert Pires his unsuspecting vicitm.

It took 2 of them to put the fire out and we were told that the club would be getting the bill for the Kart.

Josemi was the last to leave, he refused to get off the track claiming that he hadn't had his full go yet. It literally needed us to tell him we'd go without him if he didn't hurry up. He was still doing circuits when his petrol ran out.

The bus ride back was surprisingly friendly though. Everyone seemed to be laughing and re-telling thier crash stories. I think it may have worked...just a few days until the next game and hopes were getting higher.

**liveru** · 07-07-08, 07:30 PM

Haha nice idea with the go-karts.

Maybe you should think about playing Tomasson in the next match mate.

**Jonners71** · 07-07-08, 08:08 PM

The team were training hard and we were going to have to decide what team to pick. Ruben and I made our home at the club cafetria and started to make plans about tactics.

We decided that this time we had to play 2 up front, if we didn't create plenty of chances the crowd would soon be on our back.

I had an interview booked with World Soccer. I was gald to be able to relax and speak English but they'd sent thier Spanish correspondent.

I saw the interview on the Friday on thier website.

Jon, you must be stepping back at the moment and wondering how you managed to be in charge of this club?

Of course, but sometimes life doesn't give you time to plan, events trigger events and sometimes amazing things happen.

It is no secret that the club are currently under investigation and some would say that considering you left your last club after accusations of fraud, you are only making things worse....

I came to this club with a clean slate, my only intention was to make it a successful team...

But how can you expect your players to focus when the team is on the news for all the wrong reasons....

And so it went on. I'd expected them to ask me about how the season had started, my long term goals, but instead they were just interested in digging up the dirt. There was only one way I could sort this out and that was to get the club back in the news for all the right reasons.

In the meantime the draw for the UEFA Cup was made. We had had to wait longer tahn the others to learn our opponents but were happy enough with Anorthosi of Cyprus.

The players had light training on Saturday and after the session we gathered them together and announced to them who would start against Bilbao.

"ok, Lopez in goal, Josemi, Godin, Cygan and Capdevila - thats the defence" Insua looked a little hurt but he can't have been surprised.

"Midfield...Senna, Pires wide right, Fernandez wide left, Nihat, you are to play behind the front 2"

I saw Rossi's expression change as I said this.

"Tomasson and Rossi, both up front"

We made our way home late afternoon with a fair amount of expectation on our shoulders.

.................................................. ..............................

Saturday September 15th 2007

Almeria 0 Sevilla 1
Real Madrid 4 Levante 0
Barcelona 3 Ath. Madrid 0

.................................................. .................................................. ..................

**Jonners71** · 07-07-08, 09:10 PM

The day had started well enough. We got an early call from the police who, after 2 attempts to find an English speaking officer, told us that some of our belongings had been recovered in an industrial bin outside Lleida.

Lucy and I went for an early morning walk but the rain picked up again forcing us back towards the house. Another rainy match day, I hope this wasn't an omen.

The afternoon was spent with the coaches watching the players do some light training. I wandered over to the youth academy on advice from one of the coaches to see this Saivet lad play.

I'd heard good things about him and there were enough little moments to show me that the lad had promise. He'd been registered in our UEFA Cup squad and if things were going well next week, he may get a run-out.

Early evening and the players began to arrive back again at the stadium. The atmosphere around the ground wasn't as fired up as the opening game - maybe it was the rain.

The tension grew as we neared kick off. 3 points were expected and I believed I'd picked a team capable of getting them.

I thought I loved football enough to sit through any conditions and watch a game. But this stale encounter would have put the most obsessed fan to sleep. 90 minutes of my life wasted.

The quiet crowd were woken from thier slumber briefly on 22 minutes, Athletico hitting the post, but they soon settled back down to see 2 sides lacking ideas and invention. The home side lost Jon Dahl Tomasson on 42 minutes, a clash of heads leaving the Dane with a dislocated jaw which will rule him out for the next month.

The 2nd half was even more forgettable. At least Villareal looked a little more urgent in thier build up play but they looked a team crying out for a decent striker...January's arrival of Jozy Altadore can't come soon enough.

The final whistle was greeted by boos and quite possibly the odd startled sound of people waking up. Mills stomped off through the rain looking at the ground...he looked woefully out of his depth.

Carlos Medez of course, who else would write such a harsh review. But then again it was a dire match. The team worked hard but with Bilbao obviously happy with a draw it was going to take something special to unlock them...for some reason that just wasn't there.

Roig wanted to see me in his office first thing in the morning.

I drove home through the rain, passing the hoards of bored depressed fans leaving the stadium.

.................................................. ......................................

Sunday 16th February 2007

Betis 1 Espanyol 0
Deportivo 2 Recreativo 1
Getafe 2 Racing 0
Osasuna 0 Murcia 1
Zaragoza 1 Valladolid 0
Valencia 2 Mallorca 0

.................................................. .................................................. ..........

**liveru** · 07-07-08, 09:44 PM

You need to sort out your strikers.

Only three on target out of eleven is quite bad, lol.

**Fedorico Roma Fan** · 07-07-08, 09:50 PM

glad to see this story still going :) keep up the good work!