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Bucks: 91 Thanks: 368 Thanked 194 Times in 178 Posts
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St. Pat's Back...Again.
The Beginning.
It was an extremely cold night, even for the middle of January. The fire was roaring. Ozzy, my dog, was laying down in front of it. Hogging the heat whilst watching the flames flicker up the chimney. Emma and myself had just settled down to watch a DVD.
As I sat there picking my nose whilst John Travolta sang love songs to Olivia Newton-John, the phone started to ring. "Who on Earth is calling at this time Stephen?" Emma asked, sitting up from her half laying down, half sitting stance. As she moved she dug her elbow into my thigh, prompting me to reply, "if I was psychic I wouldn't have to answer it, would I?" Emma gave me a filthy look, giggled, threw a pillow at my head and continued to watch the film.
"Hello?" I asked as I pushed the little 'answer' button on the phone. "Hello? Is this Mr. Ruane?" said the voice on the other end. This fellow on the phone had a very thick accent. It took me a while to pick up on the fact that it was in fact Irish. "Yes, this is he." I replied, trying to tone down my own accent as I knew it could be hard at times to understand me in the flesh, let alone down the phone. "My name is Thomas Long. I represent a Mr. Andrew O'Callaghan." I froze, then swallowed hard before asking, "Are you the lawyer of that bloke who's car I scratched with the trolley in Sainsburys car park?" "I'm sorry, no. Mr. O'Callaghan is the chairman of St. Patrick's Athletic." I recognised the name of the club. I'd used them on FIFA 08 before. I didn't actually know anything about them. "So?" I asked, trying not to let my impatience start to show in my voice. "So, I have phoned because Mr. O'Callaghan would like a meeting with you." "With me? Why would a football chairman want a meeting with..." suddenly it hit me. Could this Irish fellow be offering me a dream start in football management? "I cannot divulge any details at this precise moment but I have it on good authority that you will enjoy this meeting." I thought to myself that I might as well hear what this bloke has to say and soon enough we were discussing where and when I will meet Andrew O'Callaghan.
As I re-entered the room, I couldn't hide my excitement. I kicked open the door and started singing to the song that was currently playing on the film. As I picked her up and swung her around, Emma laughed, "why are you so happy? Who was that on the phone?" "It was some bloke called Tommy, Thomas or summat." I replied, "his gaffer is Andrew O'Callaghan!" "What the former Liverpool player?" Emma said as she sat down and paused the movie. "No, that's Ian Callaghan." "Oh. So who's Andrew Callaghan then?" "It's O'Callaghan and he's the chairman of St. Pat's Athletic!" "Who the hell are they when they're at home?" Emma by this point wanted to continue to watch the film, I could tell by the tone of her voice, but I was too excited to be bothered. "St. Pat's are an Irish Premier Division side." I said, "Mr. O'Callaghan wants to meet up with me!" "You haven't signed up to some weird chatroom that I don't know about, have you?" Emma said sarcastically. "No. Look, I'm meeting the bloke tomorrow. I think he's going to offer me a job." "In Ireland?!" "Well, yeah. Where else would it be? Anywho, I'm now off to bed. I need the sleep. You watching the rest of the film?" "Yeah. Take Ozzy up with you." I walked over to Emma. Gave her a kiss and called Ozzy. He jumped up with the excitement of a child and bundled upstairs. "I love you." I shouted to Emma as I closed the door. Sure enough, she shouted it back and I headed upstairs to bed. As I lay down in bed, my mind started racing. Thinking about what it would be like to be a real football manager. Then I drifted off into the land of sleep.
Spent time on board: 1 Week, 1 Day and 8:54:12 Hours
Bucks: 51 Thanks: 146 Thanked 184 Times in 150 Posts
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here comes another one - this time its ru with the story where he is surely going to be offered the position of chief ballboy at st. pat's athletic. but lets not jump to conclusions - you could have an amazing stroke of luck and become the manager of you FIFA 08 team! a great story complete with the dog and a movie, and the car you scratched (HOW DARE YOU ), it has some promise! kutgw!
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Spent time on board: 1 Week, 2 Days and 17:20:35 Hours
Bucks: 141 Thanks: 150 Thanked 228 Times in 215 Posts
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Brilliant start to this one mate very good. That was my motor you scratched, and now I know where you will be working I'll be round with the repair bill.
Super stuff very funny, and going to prove very addictive I expect. And surely Mrs Ru should know by now that FMF is the only weird chatroom in your life!!!!
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Bucks: 91 Thanks: 368 Thanked 194 Times in 178 Posts
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The Meeting.
The alarm sounded, dead on time at 9 am. As I brushed the sleep from my eyes, I realised that Emma had already awoken and as the smell of bacon invaded my nostrils, I realised that she was making me breakfast. As I wondered down the stairs, still not fully awake, I was welcomed by the Ozzy monster. As soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs he jumped up and gave me his annoying squeaky toy that my mother had got him for Christmas. "Not now Ozzy. Give me a chance to get some grub." I took his toy and put it on the floor.
"Morning sweetie," Emma said as I walked into the kitchen. "You hungry?" I sat down at the table and replied, "Just a bit babe. Are you making egg and bacon sarnies or a fry up?" "Fry up. You'll need all your strength if your travelling to Ireland." "Actually I'm not." I said, "He's meeting me in town. He's here on business anyway so he thought he'd kill two birds with one stone." Emma didn't say anything. She just served my breakfast. We ate it in silence but not because we were angry at each other, it's because Emma knows it's futile to try and speak to me whilst I'm shovelling food into my noise hole. After I'd finished, I had the three 'S's that all blokes have in the morning, brushed my teeth, got dressed and left for Peppino's. The little Italian place in town, where Mr. O'Callaghan was going to meet me.
As I arrived, Mr. O'Callaghan stood up and shook my hand. Jesus, I thought I'd make a good impression by getting here half hour early and he's already here. "Take a seat lad." O'Callaghan said. I sat down and looked to my left. A copper topped fellow sat looking at me. I thought to myself, if this isn't a job offer then I'm gonna lamp that bloke. He was freaking me out just staring. Then suddenly he broke into a smile, extended his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Thomas Long. We spoke on the phone last night." I shook his hand. Mr. O'Callaghan started to speak, "As you may or may not of heard our current manager, John McDonnell has been taken seriously ill and he will not be able to be in charge this coming season." "I'm sorry to hear that." I said with the greatest of sincerety. "Indeed, it is a terrible loss to the club. But hopefully he'll be up on his feet in no time." O'Callaghan paused to take a sip of his tea. "Look, let's not beat around the bush. I've heard through the grapevine that you've done some wonderful things with some of the youth teams alongside your father." "Yes, my father and I have managed a few of the local teams around here." Suddenly Thomas piped in, "Mr. O'Callaghan is offering you the position of manager for St. Patrick's Athletic." "I'd be happy to do it. Honoured even." I felt like hugging the old bloke. "Now then Stephen, you have to understand that this will be only temporary. I'm afraid once John recovers then he is more than welcome to walk straight back into the job. That's if he recovers of course." I nodded in agreement. "Don't worry though," Mr. O'Callaghan continued, "if that happen then we're more than willing to give you the under-18s job and if John gets fired or retires then you will take the reigns full time, depending on your success in your trial period. So to speak." I didn't care that it was only a 'trial period' as he put it. Maybe I could open some eyes in the lower English divisions with my dazzling display of tactical awareness and sexy football. Mr. O'Callaghan and Thomas stood up and shook my hand one more time. "So we are agreed. We will fly you in to Dublin next week to sign the contract." Thomas said as he shook my hand. I nodded as they left the restaurant. I sat there in disbelief that I'd just been offered a real job in football management. My thoughts were disturbed by a waiter. "Can I help you sir?" I looked at him startled, then ordered a bacon sandwich to go.
Great Start, I had heard a rumour down Inchicore that we were getting Ruud Gullit as the replacement for McDonald but know yopu have been confirmed, I am over the moon.
Keep up the good work ...........
Who’s that knockin on the window? Who’s that bangin on the door? It’s RU and his boys making all the fucking noise Cause no one can’t beat the Patricks anymore
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Spent time on board: 1 Week, 1 Day and 8:54:12 Hours
Bucks: 51 Thanks: 146 Thanked 184 Times in 150 Posts
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really good work ru! cant wait for the next part and i was thinking, at the end of this, you could actually publish this change the teams and names around a bit or something and it would be an fm bestseller!!! kutgw, and maybe in a year, i will see this on my bookshelf (cuz youre gonna send me a free copy )
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Bucks: 91 Thanks: 368 Thanked 194 Times in 178 Posts
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The Contract Signing.
The week following our meeting seemed to take a life time to pass but eventually the date came. I started it the same as any. I woke up, had a shave and ate the wonderfully delicious fry up that Emma had cooked. Then I left for Dublin.
I arrived at Richmond Park at around 3pm. I was greeted by Thomas, a few of the club's lawyers and a man that introduced himself as Trevor Croly. He was the assistant manager. He seemed a little anxious to meet me. I assumed it was because he was worried that his job was under threat with a new boss coming in. I immediately put his mind at rest by saying that I was looking forward to working with him. The five men lead me into the stadium, down a few corridors to a little room where Mr. O'Callaghan sat. He shook my hand as he stood up. "Good to see you again Stephen. I trust your flight was good." He asked as he sat down. "Very good. Thank you for the hospitality." I replied sitting at the other end of the table. "It's the least we could do." Mr. O'Callaghan nodded to one of the lawyers, who proceeded to pull my contract out of a briefcase. My good friend, who was also a lawyer, John Mulholland was present to read it. "Looks good Ru." John said handing me the contract. I nodded and signed along the dotted line. "Great stuff." Mr. O'Callaghan said as I handed his lawyer the documents. "I can assure you that you have the full backing of the board Stephen. Ideally we'd like you to finish behind the top two in the league but of course we would be happy just to finish in the top half. Unfortunatly we don't have too much to spend so I'm afraid I've only got £40k to offer you in regards of transfer funds." "That's okay," I said, "I'm sure I can find a few good freebies out there." O'Callaghan looked at Trevor with a frown. "I'm afraid that you will have to sell first." He said, "The wage budget is slightly over what we can afford." "That's totally fine." I said with a smile on my face. "Brilliant! We will arrange a press conference to officially unveil you as the boss tomorrow. Welcome to the Super Saints." Once again I shook Mr. O'Callaghan's hand and the other's hands and walked out of the room.
As we walked down the corridor, John turned to me. "Isn't going to England and back going to wipe you out?" "Probably. But it's fine." I replied. "Why don't you stay at mine tonight? I'm sure Emma won't mind." "I'll just give her a ring."
After clearing it with the missus, John and myself set off for some late lunch then to his house to get some sleep. I had a busy day tomorrow. I couldn't wait. The 16th of January 2007 was my first official day in charge and my first ever press conference.
PMSL ............. loving the story ......... if you have anyjobs going ...... cut the oranges at half time ........ clean the boots, help you pick the tactics (well maybe not that) give me a shout !
Rememebr I am a boy hood suporter of the club !
Cant wait to read more !
The Following User Says Thank You to johnireland For This Useful Post:
Spent time on board: 1 Week, 2 Days and 17:20:35 Hours
Bucks: 141 Thanks: 150 Thanked 228 Times in 215 Posts
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Love the bit with John10, is he now "Muffy the Tax fraud Slayer"?
By the way matey, anymore fry-ups and bacon rolls to go, and you'll drop dead on the training pitch fatty. Excellent story so far Ru full of laugh out loud moments (If I dont get this job I'm gonna lump that bloke)
kep it going mate great stuff
The Following User Says Thank You to Hartynips For This Useful Post:
Bucks: 91 Thanks: 368 Thanked 194 Times in 178 Posts
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The Press Conference and Meeting The Players.
"Welcome everyone." Thomas said to the gathered press. "Today we are here to unveil the new St. Patrick's Athletic boss. Stephen Ruane."
With that I walked into the room, posed with a Super Saints shirt with my name on the back and took my seat between Mr. O'Callaghan and Thomas. I sat there staring at the press as they stared at me back. I swear to God, I could've just legged it because I was that nervous.
"Can we have the first question?" Thomas said. "Aprameya Rao, Canadian Saints Magazine. What are your long term goals?" "Erm..well none as of this moment because my contract is only temporary whilst John McDonnell is ill." After a few more questions, my nerves started to calm down and I was enjoying myself. Until...
"Gary Merritt, The Sun. Why..." "Who the hell let you in here?" I cut him off. "I don't read your rag of a newspaper so I certainly ain't gonna answer any questions." The bloke stood there in amazement. So did the rest of the press for that matter. I could've just curled up and die. I turned to Mr. O'Callaghan and he didnt even look at me. Thankfully Thomas bailed me out. "Are there any further questions? No? Good, Mr. Ruane has work to do." With that I was ushered out of the press room.
As we walked down the corridor I braced myself for the bollocking of a lifetime but Mr. O'Callaghan suddenly slapped me on the back and started laughing. "I've never liked that newspaper laddie." He said, continuing to laugh, "I just never had the balls to say it to one of their journalists." I stood there in amazement. "But, when I looked at you, you just stared dead ahead!" "Of course I did lad. I had to look serious because it'd been unprofessional if I looked like I agreed with you. Plus I couldn't look at you because I'd have cracked up." I suddenly started laughing too. Not due to the fact I thought it as funny, more due to the fact I was relieved I wasn't going to get sacked on my first day. "Look. Trevor's in your office. He wants to speak to you." Mr. O'Callaghan said whilst heading for his own office.
As I walked through the door, Trevor had already made me a cup of tea. I said thank you and asked what he wanted. "I've got you a squad report boss." He replied. "There's also a friendly fixture list as well." I picked up the list and looked at it. Finn Harps, Limerick, South East, Dundalk and Tullamore. "These are all Irish clubs and in my opinion, not good enough to play Pats." I said placing the list back on the table. "What do you want to do?" Trevor asked. "I'll send an email to Roberto Martinez asking for a friendly at his gaff." "Swansea?" "Yup. I'm sure that'll be a good match." I picked up the squad report, reading through. I was impressed how in depth it was. I asked Trevor where he thought needed strengthening. "I'd say attack and we need another goalkeeper." Was his reply. "Okay, look we better head off to training." I said looking at the clock and my watch.
We arrived at the training ground with the players already waiting. I was slightly nervous about what the players would think of me. I made my rounds introducing myself to each player. After that I gathered the players. "Okay. I'm not only here just to fill in for John." I said looking at each and everyone of them. "I want 100% and I want it immediately. I honest believe this club has what