"Well here are some idiotic quotes from Computer Idiots. these are hilarious, well if you are a bit of a computer geek :P
* Customer: "I can't seem to connect to the Internet."
* Tech Support: "Ah, right. What operating system are you running?"
* Customer: "Netscape."
* Tech Support: "No, what version of Windows are you using?"
* Customer: "Uhhh...Hewlett Packard?"
* Tech Support: "No, Right click on 'My Computer,' and select properties on the menu."
* Customer: "Your computer? It's my computer!"
* Tech Support: "No sir, I mean the little picture called 'My Computer' on your desktop."
* Customer: "I don't see an icon called that on my desktop. I do see one called that on my screen."
* Tech Support: "Right, just right click that, and choose Properties from the menu."
* Customer: "Right click?"
* Tech Support: "Just a moment, sir." (mutes phone) "AAAAAAAARGH."
* Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
* Customer: "Ok."
* Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
* Customer: "No."
* Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
* Customer: "No."
* Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
* Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
(At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.)
* Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"
* Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"
* Tech Support: "Type 'A' and press Enter."
* Customer: "Didn't work."
* Tech Support: "What did it do?"
* Customer: "Nothing."
* Tech Support: "Hmmm...I'll send you a new set of diskettes."
The problem happened again.
* Tech Support: "Hmmm...send me the diskettes back."
They ran perfectly on my machine. I had her print her config.sys and autoexec.bat files, etc. No problems. I called her back.
* Tech Support: "Type 'A' and press Enter."
In the background, faintly, I heard these "tickety-tickety" sounds.
* Tech Support: "What are you doing?"
It turned out she was typing, "Type A and press Enter." The error message at the bottom of the screen apparently didn't count as "doing anything."
* Tech Support: "Ok, ma'am, do you see the button on the right hand side of your mouse?"
* Customer: "No, there's a printer and a phone on the right hand side of my mouse."
Hmmmm.... Let's try a different approach.
For more go to:
Computer Stupidities
Yay laughing at technophobes 
Linear Mode
