Seth7724

‘606? I’m a City fan coming home from Nairobi and I tell you, we wuz robbed . . .’

Football phone-ins of the future.....

Host: Let's hear from Mick on the B417 near Guangdong. Is that right, Mick?

Mick: Yeah, that's right, Alan. Just heading up into Hunan province, on our way across China.

Host: Good game today?

Mick: Not bad, mate. We were a bit lacklustre in the first half, but we picked up after the interval and in the end I think we just about deserved the point.

Host: You know, it's still pretty tight down there. Do you think there is any danger of Birmingham getting sucked in?

Mick: I'd like to think, with this squad now, we're too good to go down. But, as you know, anything can happen. Let's wait and see how Sunderland get on in Riyadh...

Host: Steve, you're breaking up a bit. Where are you calling from?

Steve: We're just heading back from the Jakarta game in a rickshaw.

Host: Do me a favour, would you, please, and ask the driver to turn the radio down?

Steve: Hang on a minute... Better?

Host: Much better. What is it you want to say?

Steve: Well, I just want to say really that I thought Middlesbrough were brilliant today. Absolutely brilliant. We got players forward, we attacked well, we defended well when we had to. Every time Blackburn got the ball, we closed them down. The players showed a lot of commitment, especially when you consider how hot it was and the injections they all had to have...

Host: Deggsy in Kampala - you're on.

Deggsy: I'm absolutely spitting with fury at the moment, Alan. I can't believe what I'm seeing, week after week. That's two more points we've dropped here today and, no disrespect, but we ought to be beating teams like Fulham.

Host: Is that gunfire?

Deggsy: Well, I don't blame them. People are fed up with it, Alan. When you look at the money he's had to spend and we're still not competing for titles. Seventh place just isn't good enough for Liverpool Football Club and the sooner Benítez goes, I'm telling you...

Host: Mark, what is it about Reading and Nairobi? You just can't get a result there.

Mark: I know, mate. It's incredible. What is that now, four times? And there's always something - a penalty, a last-minute goal, a handball, or the ref has a shocker. But what can you do? I'm not saying the heat was a factor because it's the same for everyone. Well, it's the same for the four teams who got sent to Nairobi, rather than the ones who got sent to Malmö. But you know what I mean...

Host: Let's hear from a Newcastle fan. Rob.

Rob: I tell you, Alan, I'm made up tonight. There aren't many sides who are going to come to Volgograd this season and come away with three points.

Host: Stand-out players?

Rob: Well, Joey Barton was on fire. James Milner had a good game, too. And Michael Owen looked back to his best. All of them, actually. I really think this could be a turning point.

Host: It's great for the fans.

Rob: Absolutely. There's no supporters anywhere in the world that deserve success as much as these.

Host: How did Derby look?

Rob: Shocking, to be honest. But you can only play what's put in front of you...

Cockney Jim: What I want to know, right, is why isn't London bidding to stage one of these big Premiership games? You've got all these other cities - your Sydneys, your Mumbais, your Pyongyangs - all jumping up and down and going: “I'll have some of that.” Yet London - nothing.

Host: It's money, probably.

Cockney Jim: Yeah, but Alan - we've already got the facilities. Look at the Emirates. World-class stadium, that is. Why not get a game on there? And it wouldn't just be for London. I think you'd see a feel-good factor that spread right the way across the country. We gave the world football, you know, and now we're getting left behind...